News: Bacon Hairband! Hotdog earrings! Sausage Necklace! A fashionista's problem solved!

Hey there single ladies! Have you ever found it hard wooing that obese guy of your dreams? Ever found yourself coming home empty-handed from your night out at Wendys?
Well fear no more! Fake Food Hatanaka has just the thing for you! How about...

A Bacon Hairband! (5800 yen)
Hotdog earrings
Hotdog earrings! (2800 yen)
Or even...
Sausage Necklace
The Sausage Necklace! (4800 yen)

Oh, but I'm sorry... These are so fuckin' popular that they've all sold out!

Yeah, it all started with the plastic food company Fake Food Hatanaka facing a slump in sales due to a sudden increase of companies producing cheap plastic foods (yes, there is a market for it in Japan. Don't ask more!) So in a last ditch effort, the company branched off into making their fake food into jewelery and accessories. And boy, did they hit a gold mine!

They are also open to requests. I wonder if I could get myself a pair of hamburger earmuffs....

Hamburger earmuffs
They just need to get around the "pickle matrix"


News: The prime-minister of Japan goes to an EXILE concert

Yesterday, the popular 14-member Japanese R&B boy band, EXILE, had a concert at the Tokyo Dome as part of their "2013 EXILE PRIDE" tour.
In the 47,000 strong crowd waving EXILE flags was one prime minister of Japan, Abe Shozo.

"If only I was this popular..."

Before the concert, he even made a visit to their dressing-room. And taking a happysnap.

"I should have worn red.."

On his official facebook page, he mentioned his visit to the concert with the following comment:

彼らの歌う「Rising Sun」の歌詞。
「So, Rising Sun 陽はまたのぼってゆく
So, Rising Sun 夜明けはそばに来てる」

Today, I went to the EXILE concert at the Tokyo Dome.
The Lyrics of their song "Rising Sun",
"So Rising Sun, the sun rises again, so rising sun, the dawn is coming soon."
The cheerful song is very much symbolic of the ongoing revival of Japan.

"I have no idea what I am doing..."

Publicity stunt or a mere fanboy? So long as the melodic R&B rhythm with athletic hip-hop dancing had somehow convinced him to do something about my superannuation...


News: Yu Darvish's 5 pitches in one picture - BEST GIF SINCE NYANCAT

Yu Darvish, pitcher for the Texas Rangers, is having a great start to the season, with four wins in five games, an ERA 1.65, leading the league on strikeouts with 49, on an 18 inning scoreless streak, not a single home-run given, and coming oh-so-close to a perfect game. The half-Japanese/half-Iranian pitcher from Osaka is a batters nightmare at the moment. The way things are going, he's going to be the best Japan has ever produced.

In his last game against the Los Angles Angels on Wednesday, he again showed his magic allowing only 3 hits and no runs whilst punching-out 11 batters in six innings.

This one Gif (created by redditors DShep) truly shows how amazing Darvish is:

an accurate depiction of what it feels like for a batter facing him

DShep states the gif was  "An experiment in showing a variety of pitch types in a unique way. Used 5 pitches from last night; a 97 mph 4 seam fastball, 96 mph 2 seam fastball, 85 mph slider, 78 mph slider with a different grip that is more vertical, and a 64 mph slow curve."

Apart from it looking so-damn awesome, what is interesting is how the motion and release and speed of the 5 pitches are almost identical to a point... So I guess the only way your gonna get a hit off this guy is sacrificing your first born!

What's even more scary is it is claimed that he has another 5 pitches. Yeah, not even Chris Brown can hit this! (below-the-belt?)

News: J SPORTS covertly sexual promotion of the Tour de France 2013.

This year marks the 100th year of the Tour de France and the sports channel J SPORTS will be broadcasting the entire tournament live in Japan. To promote the broadcast, J SPORTS have set up an unusual 100 day countdown website.

Titled "100 pedal girls" (ペダルオトメ100), a video of a young girl riding a stationary bicycle for 1 minute and a half is uploaded to the website via youtube.
Every day a new girl is uploaded, ranging from actresses and models to bakers and bartenders. The treble of the audio is boosted to accentuate the heavy breathing (coincidentally a technique used is Japanese porn films). Yeah, it's surreal and probably meant to appeal to some weird fetishism.

Is this back shot really necessary?  Of course!
97 days until the Tour de France. Which means 97 more girls to perv on!
FYI she is 150cm tall
Despite chapter one of the advertisement bible stating that "sex sells", as I have mentioned before, the Japanese audience are "supposedly" too conservative to show overtly sexual content on TV or use it to advertise products. Hence, many Japanese companies turn to subliminally sexual connotations in promoting their product. For instance, since 2005 there has been a series of infomercials called "All-out Slope" (全力坂) that bookended product commercials with young girls running up sloped roads. And it has reached nearly 1000 episodes!!

A representative of the 100 pedal girls promotion has stated that it is meant "to enlighten people who didn't know about the Tour de France previously".
So now all the porn-trollers on the interwebs will start appreciating bikes! Win! Win!
Welcome to the internet, I will be your guide.


Breaking News: Evangelion's Gendo Ikari smiles!!

Yes, Gendo Ikari from the Neon Genesis Evangelion franchise is the commander of NERV and the father to the protagonist Shinji Ikari. He is known for being a cold heartless ruthless man who cares more about his Evangelion project than the well being of the people around him, even his son (one theory is that this is symbolic of the role of the father in the Japanese family).

Throughout the series he is known pretty much to be like this:
Only shooting lasers out of his eyes would make this scarier

But recently, Evangelion collaborated with Schick (the razor company) to promote the release of the new film DVD EVANGELION 3.33. For the commercial, Gendo was used as a character who is being interviewed about the razor. But what is strange is how they depicted him. See for yourself:

Yes, he smiles!

The razor blade makes it even creepier

The promotion was meant to show that  "Schick can give you a shave so refreshing that it would make even the most callous man in the world gleam".

Yeah, whatever... sell outs...


New Banner!

A friend of mine, Natsuki Okada (aka Whip Megumi), who is a comedienne and a web designer made me a special banner!

Anyone looking for a banner, give her a shout!

Film Review: HK / 変態仮面 [2013] - Japan' answer to Spiderman

HK Hentai Kamen 変態仮面

HK / 変態仮面 (Hentai Kamen)
Production year: 2013
Director: Yûichi Fukuda
Writer: Yûichi Fukuda, Shun Oguri
Original Creator: Keishu Ando
Starring: Ryuhei Suzuki, Fumika Shimizu, Shunsuke Daitô, Nana Katase

What do you get when you have a closet-masochist police officer for a father and a SM dominatrix for a mother... A superhero that wears female panties on his face! Duh!
Yes, I finally got around to seeing the film I previewed in a previous post, HK / 変態仮面 (Hentai Kamen)! And it was everything I expected it to be! i.e It was AWESOME!!

Hentai Kamen is about the aforementioned highschool boy, Kyosuke Sikijo (Ryuhei Suzuki). Despite having a strong sense of justice, inherited from his father, he is extremely weak. He joins the school's martial arts club in order to get stronger. When he finds his love-interest/classmate Himeno Aiko (Fumika Shimizu) involved in a Bank robbery, in pure desperation he puts on a pair of female undergarments mistaking it for a mask to protect his identity. At that moment, his "hidden pervert power" (inherited from his dominatrix mother) blossoms and he transforms into the perverted masked-superhero Hentai Kamen!

HK Hentai Kamen 変態仮面 screenshot
Radioactive spider? meh...

The film is adapted from a very lowbrow manga series published in the famous manga magazine Weekly Shonen JUMP (known for Dragon Ball, ONE PIECE, Naruto, Bleach). Despite the series only lasting one year, it has a substancial cult following. The film whilst capturing the essence of the original manga, manages to be a metanarrative of modern superhero movies, such as Spiderman (HK uses a bondage whip to sling himself around the city).

ARGH! My part in superhero world!

The story and the characters are as hammy as you can get. I guess that is meant to be the point but some of the characterization too poor to reach that "so bad it's good" mark. The notable offender being the Bondage Queen Mother (Nana Katase). Katase, using known for playing an upper-class trophy wife, is playing far too out of her comfort-zone and you can tell.

"I have no idea what I am doing..."

What holds the film together is the lead actor Ryohei Suzuki who does a brilliant job selling the role of HK. His parody performance of the Peter Parker-esque loser protagonist is spot on and his beefcake body looks stunning. In no joke, I think he is deserving of a Japanese Academy Award more so than anyone in these past few years.

dat ass... oh wait...

There are also some underdeveloped plot points that had the potential of being story gems. 3 interesting enemy characters were brushed aside as quickly as they were introduced. There was a very interesting parody of the common superhero dilemma to save 1000 lives or risk losing the lover (HK faces saving 1000 girls from being molested or going on a date with Aiko and *SPOILER* he picks the latter!), but the consequence for his actions pull up short.

Despite some glaring flaws, I must say I did laugh very hard throughout the film. Where it does shine, it gleams so bright that it blinds you. The comedy is very crude and mostly dick jokes. But what do you expect from a movie with this title?

I highly recommend everyone to go watch it so we get a sequel where HK is now a freelance photographer/scientist inheriting a billion dollars from his parents who were killed by a clown as he comes to grips with being an alien.


Food: Hatsune Miku themed Strawberry Cream Bread - Ruined by my dirt mind.

So about a month ago, the popular convenient store FamilyMart sold a line of food products in collaboration with the vocaloid character phenomenon Hatsune Miku. As Spring was just around the corner, the campaign was named "Sakura no Uta" (the song of the cherry blossoms). The products were themed around Spring in Japan, such as Plum Bentos, cherry-blossom and strawberry cakes, cherry blossom buns etc. Basically, slapping cherry blossoms onto anything they could.

Okay, so its a really lazy marketing scheme. It happens every year and nobody seems to mind. But what did cause a stir was one "Strawberry Cream Bread" that obscenely resembled a... well I'll let you guys decide...


The product in question is a "Strawberry Cream Bread" called Sakura no Ame (The rain of the cherry blossom), named after a Hatsune Miku song.

Innocent enough
When you see it....
It's meant to be shaped like a cherry blossom petal. The whole spring theme, right? That's totally fine... Wait a minute...

Oh, Fuck you internet!
Yeah, you get it now! You gotta think that somewhere upon planning, manufacturing, and marketing the product that someone would've seen it!

And now some teenage boy somewhere in Japan would be dumb enough to do this...
We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all


Commercial of the Week: Dororich - The Dororich Chearleaders (It's F*ckin' Awesome!)

So this week's commercial is for Glico's line of cream and coffee beverages Dorochi (ドロリッチ)titled "The Dororich Chearleders"... And it's AWESOME!! See for yourself:

Yes, 5 young busty Japanese Gravure Idols dressup as chearleaders and shake the creamy beverage in slow-motion! Need I say more? lol

And what's fascinating is that despite the commercial being nice eye-candy for the boys, the product itself is predominantly aimed at mid-20s women! Yeah, well done marketing team!

But you know... I don't care at all!! TITS!!

And considering the fact that the commercial has reached nearly 2 million views on youtube, I don't think anyone else minds as well!

... And if you stuck around reading this for this long, you probably want some names. Here ya go you perv!

From the left: Anna Konno (今野杏南)、Ayaka Sayama (佐山彩香)、Asuka Kishi (岸明日香)、Alisa (亜里沙)、Mizuki Hoshina (星名美津紀)

Oh, and I'm feeling generous. Have these gifs:


News: ONE PIECE characters are based on real life celebrities

ONE PIECE is the most popular manga and anime series in Japan. Over 280 million copies of the manga novels have been sold in Japan alone.
But have you ever wondered where Mr. Oda got his inspiration from? Well, apparently many of the characters are based on real-life celebrities according to twitter user @sato3rd. Check out his comprehensive character comparison sheet:

Here is the English translation:

• God Enel - Eminem | • Steven Tyler - Jango | • Jim Carrey (Lloyd Christmas) - Mr.2 BonClay | • Jim Carrey (Ace Ventura) - Franky | • Freddie Mercury - Peeply Lulu

• Joey Jordison - Basil Hawkins | • Michael Jackson - Hody Jones | • Lenny Kravitz - Mr.5 | • Twiggy - Miss Valentine | • Hugo Boss Model - Paulie

• Al Capone - Capone Bege | • Valentino Rossi - Trafalgar Law | • Mick Foley - Spandam | • Louise Brook - Nico Robin | • Uma Thurman (Mia Wallace) - Shakky

• Stevie Ray Vaughan - Postgas D. Ace | • Tim Curry (Dr. Frank N. Furter) - Emporio Ivankov | • Yusaku Matsuda - Aokiji/Kuzan | • Kunie Tanaka - Kizaru | • Bunta Sugawara - Akainu/Sakazuki

• Danny DeVito (The Penguin) - Dr. Hogback | • Hulk Hogan - Whitebeard | • Daft Punk - Killer | • Jean Rochefort - Gun Fall | • Cruella de Vil - Inazuma

• Harvey Keitels - Rob Lucci | • George Clooney - Iceburg | • Mikhail Gorbachev - The Gorosei ( Five Elder Stars) | • Mahatma Gandhi - The Gorosei ( Five Elder Stars) | • Michel Polnareff - Don Quixote Doflamingo

This isn't really that suprising as many other manga have drawn inspiration from other sources. Most notable is Dragon Ball with all the characters' names being food, clothing or household products.

Coincidentally, there has been a celebrity who has taken her inspiration from an anime character:

Haha! Zing!


Food: Wald9 Cinema Dragon Ball Z Combo Set - fooled by the branding...

As I mentioned in the previous post, I went to see the film "Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods" at Wald9 Cinema in Shinjuku. I wanted to get myself the obligatory popcorn and coke to enjoy with the movie, when I caught a glimpse of this little combo...

Yes, the official Dragon Ball Z Combo set!

For 950 yen (approx $9US), you get yourself a drink, popcorn and 2 (yes, two!) official Dragon Ball pencils!! Limited to 5000 boxes!!

So yes, I was gullible enough to buy one...

Food to keep the virginity strong!

But check out how much popcorn I got...


Yeah, the bag was half empty (or half full if you are an optimist)!
According to the manager, "the amount of popcorn was never stated in the advertisement"...

Really now... Then why make the bag so big? I don't wanna sound cheap or anything but when I pay 9 bucks for popcorn and a coke, I expect my bag to be at least 3 quarters full!

Oh well, I did at least get myself a cool pair of Dragon Ball pencils...

Until I realized that I'm 25 and I haven't used a pencil in 15 years...


Film Review: Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods - The proper fan service

Dragon Ball Z Battle of Gods

Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods (ドラゴンボールZ 神と神)
Production year: 2013
Runtime: 85 mins 
Director: Masahiro Hosoda 
Original author, story, character designs: Akira Toriyama

Dragon Ball is easily one of the most influential manga to emerge out of "Weekly Jump Magazine".  It changed and shaped the style of manga we read today. Without Dragon Ball, today's popular manga (such as ONE PIECE, Naruto, Bleach, and Gintama to name a few) simply would not exist. Despite the original series spanning from 1984 - 1995, the popularity of the series has continued to the present day with the anime "Dragon Ball GT" [1996-1997] (set five years after the Dragon Ball Z canon), the manga series republished in 2002-2004, the digitally remastered edition of the anime Dragon Ball Kai [2009-2011]  and countless video-games and merchandise. Oh, and let's not forget the horrendous live-action Western remake!

So as the fan demographic being as wide as [insert your mum joke], it seems like an apt time to release another movie to rake-in some money as Mr. Toriyama needs an new penthouse to put on his 3rd tropical island.

"Battle of Gods" is set in the Dragon Ball Z canon, fours years after the battle with Buu. The story involves the god of destruction Birus awakening from a 39 year slumber. He goes on to gatecrash Bulma's birthday party on Earth seeking to fight the Super Sayian God he saw in his dream. Will Goku be able to beat a god who can destroy planets with the click of his fingers? And what is this Super Sayian God?

Despite the super-being of a God of Destruction as a villian, there is no dramactic tension nor is there any trying to be established. Birus is very much a likable comic character in a similar way Goku is. For instance, he threatens to destroy Earth but puts it off to have a taste of pudding. Despite it being of the "Dragon Ball Z" series (known for its adult battle orientated storylines), it is more reminiscent of the original "Dragon Ball" series (known for more comedic adventures).

Also being a purple skinny cut is not that scary.

The fight scenes very much feel in spirit of the original anime series, even enhanced by incorporating CG. But it isn't at the standard that we expect of 2013. With the emergence of the three disciples of ONE PIECE, Naruto and Bleach, the Dragon Ball style seems a little dated.

Having said that, there are some stand-out moments, such as Vegeta (known throughout the series being the arrogant Villian) becoming a total pussy and doing a humiliating song-and-dance number to stop Birus from blowing up Earth, and Gohan's super-hero alter-ego "The Great Saiyaman" telling a 10 year old girl holding a gun to shoot him in the face (go see the film, and you'll get it). Comedic moments like these were what made the original series so awesome.

When did I become Chris Rock!?

It is said that the original creator, Akira Toriyama, was heavily involved in the production of this film, although known for his reclusive personality and loss of interest in the series. One reason for his involvement was said to be his disappointment in the live-action Hollywood movie. He said that the fans deserved more and that is pretty much what this film is, an ode to the fans.
I am a fan myself. I have the original manga series in its entirety at home, and have to control myself whenever I see a figurine inside a UFO catcher. So yes, I was happy to see the characters again, and to see them in a new situation.The film even gave a little nod Toriyama's previous work, Dr. Slump.

So overall, as a film or even as an anime film, it is not of acceptable quality but if you were a fan of DB in your youth and are seeking a nostalgia trip, it's definitely worth a watch. I'm sure you'll leave with at least a smirk.

Kinda like this one...

[WARNING: the next paragraph may contain spoilers]

One gripe as a fan I had with the film is (also an inherent problem of the series) what I like to call "power-inflation". This is the idea that you constantly power-up characters throughout the story to "raise-the-stakes", which feels like a cheap way to keep the story interesting. Dragon Ball GT did not work for me for this very reason. To me, the concept of Super Sayain 4 was an overload of the original concept. If it works, pump it with more steroids! 
And "Super Sayian God" is even worse. It is a cheap macguffin with very little payoff, both visually and as a plot-point. At least Super Sayain 4 looked all baddass with a furcoat. Super Sayian God is a Red-haired Goku who shed a few pounds. Plus wanna know the way to get to Super Sayian God... BY HOLDING HANDS IN A CIRCLE!! No joke. Earth was saved from a destructive god by 5 men and a pregnant woman acting all hippie... Remember that... Still less gay whatever the fuck Justin Chatwin was trying to do in Evolution!


News: Men dress in drag in a dike reinforcement ritual

You heard right. Called "Omiyuki-san" it is an over 1000 year ritual on April the 15th for men in the city of Kai of the Yamanashi prefecture dress in pink female kimonos and stomp on the dikes in order reinforce the ground.

It is said that reason for the drag is to not scare away the female god with the  presence of men. Yes, so it's like a 1000 year old Japanese Mrs. Doubtfire ritual! Awesome!


Food: Napoli (Shimokitazawa) - 500yen pizza

Napoli is a "Pizzeria Bar" restaurant chain that I visited today in Shimokitazawa.

Tucked away in a side-ally, its a pizza place that fits about 20 people.
The sales point is if you go before 8pm, you can get yourself a large sized pizza (about 25cm wide) for 500yen (approx. $5US)!

And don't let the price fool you though. This ain't just cheap junk food!
The taste is on par with any Italian restaurant in Japan. It actually looks and tastes like a real pizza. Using a special pizza oven, it only takes 90 seconds to bake.
Fast-food no longer has to taste like shit guys!

Also if you go between 5-7pm you can grab a beer (or wine if you feel all fancy) for 300yen! It's great value. I recommend that you go with mates or as a quick bite and drink with your date!

As for me, I got drunk and was very full for 10 bucks haha!

forever alone


Meme: Luxury is...

Luxury is

Anyone who works at a Japanese Company would understand.


Japan Food: Make your beer have great head!

Beer-lovers check this out! Takara Tomy Arts (primarily a toy production company) have made a series of gadgets that will make your beer have better head with just a press of a button!

The Sonic Hour (which coincidentally was the name of my shitty highschool emo band)

How does it work? Well, first check out the commercial...

It creates foam by "supersonic waves", which is a cool way of saying that it shakes the beer really fast. And while you wait for the beer to foam up, the bottom of the device illuminates in 8 different colors to make you feel like a fruity punce before your foamy beer. A small price to pay for a great beer.

Retailing at 3990 yen (approx. $40US) it will be on sale from the 25th of this month!


News: The Evangelion Matchmaking Party (エヴァコン)

To celebrate the release of the third film in the new Evangelion series "Q" on DVD and Blue-ray, Evangelion and Machi-con will collaborate to host a matchmaking party for Evangelion fans called "Eva-con". 

Evangelion Matchmaking party

Machi-con(街コン)is a matchmaking event of grandeur scale that shops of whole towns participate in. As few Japanese men have the balls to flirt with women and it is often perceived as "slutty" for Japanese women to accept being flirted, events such as these can become one the few chances to romantically interact with the opposite sex.
Sometimes, over 3000 Men and Women will participate in a single event (which just goes to show how many people there are desperate for contact).

The terms and conditions of Eva-con are simple. Be over 20 and have an interest in Evangelion. The price for admission is 4980 yen(approx. $45US) and have to be bought in sets of two. The event will be held in three locations, Umeda of Osaka, Harajuku and Shibuya of Tokyo.

So what's the significance of Eva-con? The nerds WIN!!!
It's the chance of a lifetime to step out of the internet forums and meet real 3D girls with the same love of Eva.

So in theory,  this...

Could end up with this...

My time has come!
Although I sense strong AT-Fields protecting the virginity (Eva-fans would get it)
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...